Two caves, two lights.

A shadow that I had to overcome was finally be able to stand up to my parents.  Most of the time when I grew up, I usually relied on my parents or someone in my family to give me consent or advice about how to do something or to even be able to go out, whether by myself or friends.  It seemed as though they tried to create a safe zone where they could always watch over me and never worry.  I never felt restricted or constrained because I was, just as the prisoners in the cave, tantalized by the fire and shadows.  I escape and still am escaping towards the light at the end of the cave.  It all started when I choose to finally do something that was against parents will, though to me it felt right and necessary to grow as a person and to learn more about those around me.  I choose to move out of my parents’ house.  My parents choose to move from tantalizing fire to destructive fire as way to plant fear in me and let it grow.  But I saw the light of my future the light of what I wanted to and was dedicated to it.  I broke the chain and choose to stumble to the entrance of the tunnel. 

 As I start to get closer to the light and finally reach it I know this will be worth the pain, worth the stumbles (the wrong choices that lead me astray and I correct), the bumps on my head (the flaws as a person or my character as I go and learn to become more open and wiser).  It is a difficult passage and at time I have found myself contemplating whether the fire and shadows would be the best choice or whether or not this struggle to get out would be truly worth it in the end.   Those moments of self doubt, pity and worthlessness tend to hit me hard and I never know if I want to continue.  

It is as though I am fighting to get past two shadows or to get out of two caves, one external that I have managed to break free from;  the other, where I try to gain more confidence and find that push in my life that makes going through all this worth it, makes it better and allows you to enjoy the light, the warmth, fresh air.  This is one cave that i am not sure if i will be able to overcome.  Though i have found friends that are willing to help me and support me.  So rather than just be one person, like in platos cave, i am a group.  We help each other out to reach the light of confidence, knowledge or even understanding of ourself.  

My cave consists of external and internal bonds.  It is difficult thing to be able to escape two caves at the same time because if I slip in one then I could probably never be able fully understand the light.  In order to enjoy the light from any shadows in whatever cave, we have to also escape our internal caves. If we don’t then the light of our external escape mean nothing.