Daru is, I don't want to say my favorite character, but the more likable one.From the beginning of the story it seemed as though he was only interested in the simple life.He lived in a semi-secluded life, just himself and the students he taught.It seems as though he is searching for a less complicated life away from all the problems that he didn't believe had to do with him; where he only needs to worry about himself and not others, since he mostly felt like an exile.When Balducci came along with the prisoner, the Arab, to me it seemed as though he could tell his simple life would be complicated and nuisanced with a so called calling to follow orders. When Balducci, arrived and allowed the Arab to settle in, Daru didn’t share the same hate. Instead, he saw the Arab, not as a tool to obtain information to be simply discarded and left to fend for himself once he no longer became necessary.Daru saw him as an actual human being, one that lives, breathes and feels.In the one night that he was in Daru's care he treated him as an actual guest, feeding him, giving him a bed and allowing him to be free, to move around the house and basically do as he pleased.
However, as much as Daru felt to treat the Arab objectively, outside of any obligation from having to side with some ideal and instantly judging him, he thought of him as the nuisance in his life, just because of what he has been ordered to do.He constantly thought, wished and practically gave a chance for the Arab to escape.It was clear from when Balducci gave him the order to take him to headquarter, Daru didn’t want to.Then again when he just let the Arab go, when they were not even close enough, to give assurance that he would go, to the headquarters.He put a lot of faith that the Arab would do the right thing for himself.
Daru was a man of respect, faith and simple man.He didn’t really care for much that didn’t benefit him or cause much trouble in his life.He just wanted to be isolated, away from all the problems.Yet no matter where he could go, trouble always found him and that he would pay for always being involved in something he didn’t believe.
In January, I had to move because the old house was closing. So i began my search, luckily i had a friend that was looking for a new place so we decided that we might as well just try looking and see if we could find something and split a room. We did and i was excited even though i wasn't really showing it. He and i got along great at first, same with my other two roommates. But then after a few weeks of living with him i just started to find that he became annoying and just lazy and not really motivated. He would always be sleeping and always complained that he was tired. I never understood what he was tired of always sleeping, never working only going to school, he was always on the internet doing nothing. By the end of the semester i started to become extremely annoyed to the point where i just didn't want to share the room with him and looked forward to the weekends when he choose to go home. It basically got to the point where i didn't consider him a friend, just someone i had to live with until i could live with someone else. Because of this, i started making joke about him, as he did of me the first few weeks after the move-in. I never intended to hurt him but sometimes i knew i pushed the limit between having just fun and being rude and mean. So i apologized when i did. Even then when it seemed all good, calm and peaceful, it wasn't really. i was still fed up with his laziness, egotistical and him constantly thinking highly of himself.
Then one day i just couldn't take it, i choose to confront him about and rip him a new and tell him to take more responsibility. While i waited, for him to return from wherever he was, I dwelled on my decision to confront him and i changed my mind right as he walk through the door. It wasn't for a lack of confrontation, I mean i usually don't like to start fights or arguments so i try to avoid them if it is possible. But just looking at it from his point of view, I thought to myself "what is he going through and what has he gone through?" Then I remember that the semester before he had to leave school for a bit right as he began to settle-in to his new life. Now he didn't withdraw because he couldn't handle it, he withdrew because his father had suffered a heart-attack and died a few days later. He and his family had suffered a great lose and it dawned on me that his constant tiredness, lack of energy and constant sleeping was due to him being depressed and that he had been in mourning. Then i thought to myself "what if this happened to me?" Just thinking like that really opened my eyes and I no longer felt anger, annoyance or really joked that much about him as much anymore. I felt compassion and understood a little more about him.
Just learning to step back from that situation taught me to really step back in all of my relationships. Most of the time before i thought it was straight forward and i would assume something about my friend, family, co-worker or who ever. There will always be a time when i will face someone who annoys me because of what they do but i just can't let deter me from being able to work with them and becoming a better person. Most relationship, aside from just girlfriend & boyfriends, require that you take a chance in order to make them work. I have faced met many people where i thought they were only, i assumed they were something but after a while i learned they weren't. So that experience with my friend/roommate allowed me to see that first impression aren't always the last impression. Things about people do change and we have to accept that and work with them and in order to do that you have to build trust first and have faith in the person to open up and break down the wall that protects them. then we have to love and cheerish what they expose and treat as our own otherwise all we en up casuing them is hurt and pain and force them to close up again.
If someone chooses to trust me with a secret, something so very personal i choose not to tell anyone because i have seen people hurt over that. It also takes a great deal for someone to earn that much trust, but it takes a great deal more to maintain it. I never really had any friends who could trust me, tell me secrets, choose to come to me when they need to open up. To feel that trust connection is something i cherish down to my very heart and soul. But i try not to leave it to just friends because stranger, people from all walks of life need just a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. Then maybe i can understand them better and have meaningful relationships.
A song that is resonating in my mind and constitutes a virtue I am trying to embrace is "Never Too Late" by Three Days Grace. When I first heard this song liked it because of the guitar, the way it started; slow and steady, almost creating a relaxing yet still restless feeling. Like the calm before the storm. I think what was intended was that no matter how calm someone may seem they are in fact fighting their own demons. Then it builds up, with the bass guitar and drums, then it goes back to only the acoustic guitar and drums in the background; to symbolize that a person may begin to battle and confront the demons and struggle until they reach the end. Never calm always fighting. Adam, the singer of the group and on guitar, sings "maybe we'll turn it all around. It's not too late it's never too late." I think it means that no matter how down we feel, or how bad life may get or even if it is at a serious low point, you can still make amends and rebound . I am not just saying apologize if you hurt someone but also forgive those who have hurt you so that you can begin to forgive yourself. To begin to turn your life around into something you may have missed and to at least make up for what you have lost as best you can.
Chances are it wont be easy, there will be speed bumps that make it seem as though giving up would be a better option; but better for whom?
Alan Watts makes a point that rather just focus on the end goal, work hard to get there and only find out that is was all for nothing is not what we should pursue. Sometime it's the speed bumps in life that make us stronger, forcing us to slow down and enjoy what we have done so far because sometime looking back on what was good and what was bad lets us enjoy the note we are on. If we are to only zip through life and not take the time to appreciate all the work we have done then what is the point of getting to the finish line or the end of the composition? We have to get in the mindset of valuing not the goal, even though it is important but the journey. No matter how hard it may be, how many times we fall, almost give up, we need to keep pushing forward. To get back up, sometimes ask for a little help and eventually we do get through it, step by step, day by day.
The virtue that i have been trying to understand is that in order to keeping moving along we have to forgive ourselves and other for the mistakes that have hurt. As difficult as it may be that be eve if there was great pain involved. To be honest i can see why most people can hold a grudge and even be mad at the situation or person that caused it. But sometimes playing the blame game will only go so far in reasoning what has happened. Such as the music video, when we see the little girl and and older female. The first thing that popped into my head was that they are the same person probably because of a shared traumatic experience. But i wasn't quite sure, yet even if they are not, Three Days Grace, might have intended to send the same message. In the beginning of the video you can clearly see that they go from a state of joy to a sudden state of depression and pain. But then somehow an angel, not like angel we have come to know, a different angel; which can represent the will to overcome and forgive. They finally began to let go of the person or situation that hurt them, fight their inner demons, shed the masked that covered their true potential and become who they are.
Eventually, when it come down to it, we have to forgive and it is never too late to reach our true potential, escape our cave and explore who we are. To be, not the calm before the storm but the moment in which we reach the ultimate calm and feel satisfied with life, enjoying it little moment.. The songs goes from the storm to the satisfied feeling, as it goes from just the guitar with Adam singing, then him with drums in the background then ending on him and the guitar. I feel the lyrics are true "it's never too late" to be who we really, to get what we have always wanted from life, rather regret all that we have missed once we have reach the end of our journey. Then maybe we can begin to enjoy the music that is our life. After all it will not be what other expect us to do. Everybody has their composition that are being composed everyday by every moment, every lesson and every experience. If we were all similar then the music we create would not be any good but be just a deafening tone. We are who we are, lives will be different and by embracing them maybe we can really enjoy the goal and not feel like we got left with an empty bag.
I sometimes feel that my bag will be empty because all i am doing is rushing and not enjoying what is going on around me not really enjoying the life i have with the people i am with. The song make me stop and think about what i have done, what i might do so that i can be more in the moment and enjoy it. Perhaps even feel as though i will no longer feel like an shell empty. Then hopefully once I get to the goal I will have turned everything around, reached the potential that dwells in me and no longer blame other for what they have done and it's rippling effects. After all, i can't just stop and play the blame game if i want to enjoy my music and dance to the notes.
