Ominous Feeling.

My favorite song was "Building Steam with a Grain of Salt."  Most of the time the very first song of the album is what determines whether or not I like the artist or the any of his music at all.  It is sort of harsh way to judge the artist but I have found that it works. 

The reason I like this song was how it has an ominous, dark feel; it creates a mysterious atmosphere which is continued through the entire song.  I think that it was a great way for DJ Shadow to have this as his first song because it really plays into his own personality and how he rarely ever makes appearance and interviews.  It mirrors his personality and how he would be preferred to be seen as a channel for as he called it "the dream” and to teach others.  He wants to be known and remember for what he did, not for who he was, remember for his contribution to music and not as a person people obsess over.  I think that his dream could be that music can bring the world together in peace or at least closer to peace.  Perhaps to at least able to make people realize that the world is bigger and more important then our own little problems. 

Since music can be a channel to express a problem that is hurting the artist themselves or otherwise hurting the world; such as Tupac Shakur did by using an  acronym for his tattoo.  Most people thought it was just slang to express how he had a hard time growing up and only to express his tough life but, it was  to express the tough life that many children suffer.  THUG LIFE (T.he H.ate U G.ive L.ittle I.nfants F.***s E.veryone) was a rude and straight forward expression that hatred inflected on other only brings about more hatred.  Instead we should change and open our arms to love, leave hatred aside and end the violence.

Both Tupac & DJ Shadow speak of truth, they never saw or see themselves as a the main figure, but only a figure to meaning that is behind the music.  The first song was a good way to express himself and his ideals.

Phil the constant cave.

Phil becomes trapped in the same day over and over again because he, at first, failed to see that his shadow was trapping him and that in order to escape, his supposed hell redo, he needs to change.  He needs to change from being the asshole and always thinking about himself and highly about himself, to thinking about others first instead.  At first he falls for his shadow, his egotistical self, and chooses to take advantage of repeating the day to day events for his own benefit.  To be honest, if I was trapped in the same situation as he was I would definitely take advantage of it probably not as bad as he did, as when he met Nancy, his ex-fiancé.   

As soon as he starts to realize that it then becomes hell and just too much to handle, he choose to end his life however he can.  That is his escape, he chooses not to go back to being chained or egotistical asshole, his suffering was his passage through the tunnel, his hits on the head, scratches, scraped on the knees.  It the nature of the cave changes depending on what it is that the person is trying to escape.   The suffering that we endure can either be directly on us or it can be on others that cause to push closer towards the light.  As when Phil  met the old man who died, no matter what he did, how happy he made the old man he was destined to die and that caused him pain not being able to do anything about showed him he is not as big or as important as he thought he was. 

Phil being aware of his situation fits to what the prisoner in the escaping the cave, he knew where he was but not why he was going there.  The prisoner, just as Phil took the time to enjoy their time and freedom but then suffered.  They both knew that eventually they would need to reach the light but never knew what they would see once they got there.  The closer they both go to the light they began, the prisoner hear and Phil see things in a different way.  They opened their mind sub-consciously to see what was wrong with their world and how they could change and live a better life.

Two caves, two lights.

A shadow that I had to overcome was finally be able to stand up to my parents.  Most of the time when I grew up, I usually relied on my parents or someone in my family to give me consent or advice about how to do something or to even be able to go out, whether by myself or friends.  It seemed as though they tried to create a safe zone where they could always watch over me and never worry.  I never felt restricted or constrained because I was, just as the prisoners in the cave, tantalized by the fire and shadows.  I escape and still am escaping towards the light at the end of the cave.  It all started when I choose to finally do something that was against parents will, though to me it felt right and necessary to grow as a person and to learn more about those around me.  I choose to move out of my parents’ house.  My parents choose to move from tantalizing fire to destructive fire as way to plant fear in me and let it grow.  But I saw the light of my future the light of what I wanted to and was dedicated to it.  I broke the chain and choose to stumble to the entrance of the tunnel. 

 As I start to get closer to the light and finally reach it I know this will be worth the pain, worth the stumbles (the wrong choices that lead me astray and I correct), the bumps on my head (the flaws as a person or my character as I go and learn to become more open and wiser).  It is a difficult passage and at time I have found myself contemplating whether the fire and shadows would be the best choice or whether or not this struggle to get out would be truly worth it in the end.   Those moments of self doubt, pity and worthlessness tend to hit me hard and I never know if I want to continue.  

It is as though I am fighting to get past two shadows or to get out of two caves, one external that I have managed to break free from;  the other, where I try to gain more confidence and find that push in my life that makes going through all this worth it, makes it better and allows you to enjoy the light, the warmth, fresh air.  This is one cave that i am not sure if i will be able to overcome.  Though i have found friends that are willing to help me and support me.  So rather than just be one person, like in platos cave, i am a group.  We help each other out to reach the light of confidence, knowledge or even understanding of ourself.  

My cave consists of external and internal bonds.  It is difficult thing to be able to escape two caves at the same time because if I slip in one then I could probably never be able fully understand the light.  In order to enjoy the light from any shadows in whatever cave, we have to also escape our internal caves. If we don’t then the light of our external escape mean nothing.